P-P-P-P.....

Okay readers - it's Friday afternoon: what's your favourite anti-superhero-related snack, ideal with a coffee?

Cap'n Bluebeard

Not content with wallowing in his reputation as the chief architect of the Great Squirl Massacree and Pot-Roast, it seems Cap'n Jahhhhhhhhhnnnnn (me hearties) is seeking to expand his notoriety.

Here he is practising his vile and piratical seduction techniques on a member of the Fabulous Five.

True, you can't actually see the Invisible Girl in this picture (obviously, you bunch of whacked-out dur-brains), so I have enchanced the picture with my whizzery on the old computerkit and you can now see what she looks like in my own brain when she's not invisible.

What next for this suavely-evil Beau-Brummel-cum-Masterbrainbox of the High Seas? Smug-druggling, perchance?

4D - in full effect

It's not often I feel the need to get up off my knees and thank Beattie face-to-face, but last night was literally the dog's binoculars.

In a multi-media spectacular at no cost to myself I was able to participate in the greatest event ever to be held in a waxworkery hereabouts.

I refer, of course, to the giant dressing-up box experience that is 'Be Spiderman' or another one of them be-garbed crime-crunchers. And in availing yourself of the full 4D (that's four pennies in old money style) you get to be spat on by the jolly green giant, which was Beattie slapped up with green emulsion and his trousers all ripped to show his bulging impressiveness.

Cap'n Jaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhnnnnnn laughed and laughed.

Still on the hunt

Another disappointing flick through the 'Come and Get Me I'm Desperate' pages in Figurines (not Dolls!) Monthly.

Have you seen my little chap?

He's gone missing!

It's not like the last time what when he went walkabout on a laydee-targetting mission.

This is an important prototype dolly of me mixed up with a little Mozza, and can be recognised by the witty phrases that he spouts when pressure is applied to his tummy and thereabouts. These phrases will remind any laydee of the romantic loveliness that is me all over, viz.

"Not now, eh? It's Nazis in Colour on."

"I'll have a guess one."

"It'll have to wait - I'm buffing-up my Nightcrawler."

"Fruli."

"Give me a minute, I'm sure I'll find it down here somewhere."

"Oooops. Sorry. Bit over-eager."

and of course, the old favourite

"Hell-o-oh!"

There is of course a small reward for anyone who locates my little chap and returns it in good condition and washed.