Sunday 31 January 2010

Birthday Boy

South of Africa's most famous sonny, right pensive
Today, being the end of the month, it is the 60th birthday of one 'Braisers'.

Many of us know this ageing legend for his starring role as Zulu Dawn in the film of the same name, or what is also eponymous in the journo trade.

However, what is often forgotten is the fortune-amassing years in the 1940's and 1950's when he started playing the role of Biltong Boy, an Afrikaans version of Jungle Boy, which he was to make his own over the next 45 years. He was widely admired for strutting through the veldt clad only in a loincloth, or 'chafer' in the local lingo, wielding an outsize sjambok on the flora.

He was of course accompanied by Bliksem, his trusty springbok - played by Erik van Der Merwe (front) and Dusty Parts (rear) - who never tired of playing a Lassie-type role, calling on Biltong Boy to follow him into all sorts of mildly perilous scrapes.

Braisers carried off this role in what was virtually a national institution well into the late 1980's, when he made a vast amount of money from endorsements and advertising as Biltong Boy, including White & White whisky, and White pudding.

However, he finally fell victim to the march of time in 1990 as the world became ever-more internationalised, and it was proving difficult to sell the series abroad. More and more of the commercial operations withdrew their sponsorship of the show.

And so it was on 11th February 1990 that, as the great statesman Nelson was released from prison, Braisers wiped away a tear and swore never to black up again, thus ending his screen life as Biltong Boy forever.

Braisers, we salute you, and wish you another 70 glorious years.

Friday 29 January 2010

Televisual celebratory occurrence


Tonight I will be celebrating in excelsis your favourite TV moment of the present century to date.

Already now regarded as the best ever-viewed programme round my house, it will be nearly close to a year on since this festival for your eyes was filmed in the early hours all that many, many year ago.

Not only has it already won the accolade of Derrig's Review 'Best episode of all-time of anything', but it will shortly be featured at great length in my own re-telling of the whole damn thing again unto exhaustion this evening.

And of top of that I'll be a-whuppin' the intellectual arses off the opposition in a PC Crampton-stylee-mockery-of-a-quiz-night at Club Derrig in a high state of inebriation.

And won't we all be, I ask?

Thursday 28 January 2010

Busy


Devilishly busy.

Wednesday 20 January 2010

Still on the hunt


Another disappointing flick through the 'Come and Get Me I'm Desperate' pages in Figurines (not Dolls!) Monthly.

Thursday 14 January 2010

Boxer rebllious contender almighty!


A blooming disgrace to the world of tailoring is what I would say about it if I were talking and not blogging it all over your screen.

It's not easy to come by a specially-tailored boxing robe, and even more so when one has special requirements logo-wise.

So it's a right miffing of me when it turns up without the emblazoning on the back of my nom-d'amour 'The Anglo-Irish Love-Garden Moisturiser'.

You can surely imagine the scene if I had been properly attired. Look at how I even managed to prance and dance in the inadequately-be-logo'd garment that was so shoddily issued to me. All the grace and beauty of a granite butterfly, I think you'd agree.

Having worn it, I am now relinquishing it - in all it's sweat-soaked glory - to a Martin, as an act of charity, of which I am always silent about completely.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

A supermodel, posing.

It has finally come to the point where I must own myself up that it is possible for such a thing as a glamorous granny to exist.

But it's a right old sad day, ain't innit?

Wednesday 13 January 2010

In The Pink, Alright?

Roseate glow(er).

No! Nay! Please don't worry, any of you lot.

I know that many people have been fearing for the abnormally normal workload I have been victimised of by courtesy of the Boss Lady-Lord-Bless-Her-And-Her-Little-Cotton-SocksTM.

Can I say now that I am absolutely on top health form, despite this, and that my persistent grumpiness is merely my being quiet a bit.

Got that? Good.

Monday 11 January 2010

Film Review 11 : Up The Road


Synopsis: Man goes up shops with kid. Gets a bit lost on the way back. DON'T TOUCH THAT TROLLEY! Moodies about.

Col's commentary: The laughs come thick and frequently in this marvellous remake of The Road To Moroccan, with Vigorous Mortifyingsen in the titular sour-faced-josher Bingo Crosby role. Three out of ten.

Thursday 7 January 2010

Derrig Towers - Refurbishment?


I am considering buying a life-size cut-out of 'Mr.Showmanship' to brighten up Derrig Towers after many years of tolerating the depressing gloom and borderline insanity of that Moonbat of Mopery, Morrissey, being on posters all over the walls of my adobe.

In fact, I think Lee would make an excellent companion for old miseryguts, sitting behind him and tinkling him up and away on his ivories.

Wednesday 6 January 2010

Bracing


The Caledonian Road, heading south to Club Derrig.

Tuesday 5 January 2010

Monstering

You will all know my penchant for coats, see for exempli gratficiatus the post here.

Well, what with being freezed up a tad, I have devoted some resources to an even hotter coat, known as a 'Parker'. Weighs a ton.

It is great for monstering up the laydeez.

As can be seen in action beneath (not a reconstruction).

Look out, girls, here I'm coming!

Saturday 2 January 2010

Unexplicatable

A chart, today.
The above graphic shows up an internet phonomenononon of how some people can become micro-celebrities in their own way throughout any efforts on their part in any way shape or format.
Just how JayDee's seasonal greetings video got 236 hits as of the day today, is and will always remain a mysterious.

Friday 1 January 2010

Hogmananny


So there was me and Beattie up all night with our traditional egg-nog and our preferred nibbles (him a sausage surprise and me the Ginster's buffet bar) waiting for the appearance of the Scotland lad.

And nary a word or sight of him.

Is he not on as often these annual years now?

Or, to put it more sucinctly, has someone changed the frequency, Kenneth?

Still, at least we saw the old year out with a bang, as is our wont.