Yes, mea culpa!
It was me!
I am the guilty one!
- STEALING shedloads of crisps!
- SEALING them in large plastic bags to stop them being dustied-up!
- CONCEALING them beneath the floorboards of my then abode.
All done and gone about in a carefully-thought-through masterminding of crim-type activity.
You've got me bang-to-rights, officer!
I'll come quietly!
No, of course not.
You know that I'm honest as the day.
But the real culprit had better start telling people I can ride a bike and swim or the truth will out and I will confess him up to the wrong arm of the law.
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