Alternative Queen's Seasonal Message

At last - it's what you've all been waiting for!

Fiddling in the dark

Derrig's in the 'hood!

It is time to put an end to all the rumours circulating round about me around me.

Despite recognition of my talents in the ‘being-pulled-off’ department, and regardless of the way I am perceived by lesser sorts as ruling over conferences with my (non-chemically-enhanced) rod of iron, I am not putting myself up to “do a big job”.

I can, of course, understand how this kind of misconception gets misconceived by those who take an interest in this sort of fanciful pipe-smoking-dream-halluci-scenario.

It only takes a little ‘tap’ on the shoulder in public, and the gossip-mill gets grinding. It’s the heightened political atmosphere I work in.

But I see myself more as a man in the shadows, or an emenince grease, if you will, fiddling away in the dark behind you all.

A Grey Lord rather than a Dark Lord, I suppose you could say.

They're spooky and they're ooky

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgggggghhhhhh!

(Sticky-out freezing breast tips not featured.)

Twin of Evil 1 takes a relaxing moment away from her usual fund-raising activities .

With well-developed musculature and demonstrating an obscure yoga position (the pose of the still-wet-anti-perspirant) , she is clearly readying herself to greet the trickers and treaters brave enough to knock her up this evening.

The effect, I feel, would have been vastly enhanced up if she had managed to find a mask.

Mock-Up

Posed by models.

I am delighted to be able to let you in on the ground floor of a brainstorm I have had for an idea of mine.

Basically all the information in the world ever will be compiled onto one computer in a room and then analysed down into bite-sized chunks for upping my braininess.

It'll be called a 'Nervous Centre'.

P-P-P-P.....

Okay readers - it's Friday afternoon: what's your favourite anti-superhero-related snack, ideal with a coffee?

Cap'n Bluebeard

Not content with wallowing in his reputation as the chief architect of the Great Squirl Massacree and Pot-Roast, it seems Cap'n Jahhhhhhhhhnnnnn (me hearties) is seeking to expand his notoriety.

Here he is practising his vile and piratical seduction techniques on a member of the Fabulous Five.

True, you can't actually see the Invisible Girl in this picture (obviously, you bunch of whacked-out dur-brains), so I have enchanced the picture with my whizzery on the old computerkit and you can now see what she looks like in my own brain when she's not invisible.

What next for this suavely-evil Beau-Brummel-cum-Masterbrainbox of the High Seas? Smug-druggling, perchance?