On vacances

I have made a sudden and irrevocable decision to quit the country for an indeterminate period and travel the world.

I would like to put on record that this is in no way connected with a petition currently being circulated by my rivals. This scurrilous document demands that I immediately hand over funds I have raised from others in good faith. It claims the funds will allow a group of undeserving urchins to pay a visit to the seaside and enjoy their first experience of a holiday.

I make a practice of never discussing my charitable work, although I should point out it was A BLOODY LONG AND DESPERATE TREK I UNDERTOOK AT GREAT PERSONAL RISK TO MY OWN LIFE AND LIMBS to raise that money. I am sure no one begrudges me the few measly pence I made out of this effort. It's not as if I even had the money long myself as I had to make my regular Club bar bill payment.

So, off I go globetrotting. I am reluctantly forced to leave the upkeep of my blog in the hands of that rapscallion Ben Thomas. He has assured me he will be posting regularly with all the wit the half-wit can muster.

So, ciao, mes Freunds!