On my travels a lot of people have asked me why I’m not a world leader yet. My answer is: democracy.
People will only vote for those they feel are not too superior to them in physical and intellectual assets. After all, they are supposed be representative of their electorate.
So I would garner absolutely no votes in the average election by the hirsute near-primitives I am forced to move amongst.
Having said that, I do have a strategy for becoming a world leader by force. The numerous military commanders who admire me have been asking me to lead them in a campaign which will see the world bathed in the hot pink light of Derrigism.
Over recent days, under cover of the seemingly harmless board game "Risky" and an unfeasible amount of alcohol, I have spent long hours ensconced with various Generals in a secret room of Club Derrig (County Mayo Branch). We have gone through a dry run of troop deployments and the arrangement of a complex set of alliances which we can forge and splinter at whim. To date the Derrig Empire’s shadow campaign has secured most of the globe, save Bangkok where, for some reason, our only serious adversary has corralled over a million of his troops for a spot of R’n’R.
Weather and hangovers permitting I believe that we will be ready to start the real thing sometime soon. We'll be starting in Coulsdon.
"KEEP YOUR HINTERLAND COVERED" - the Derrig family motto - will see us victorious.
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