Stepping ashore from my skiff in sunny Tajikistan I am greeted by a banner which announces that it is International Pirate Day.
I have consulted my everyday diary and see that it is filled with these events, so:
20th September – International Buccaneer Day
21st September – International Pillager Day
22nd September – International Cut-purse Day
23rd September - International Freebooter Day
24th September - International Ben the Burglar Day
25th September - International Corsair Day
26th September - International Picklock Day
27th September - International Bandit Day
28th September - International Brigand Day
And so on throughout the year.
It seems to me these are little more than opportunities for feckless profiteers to make money out of the gormless. However, I am all for enterprise and see no reason why I shouldn't join the ranks of these cunning speculators.
I have consulted my diary for a free day which can be inaugurated henceforth as International Derrig Day, a day on which I will be celebrated in ways which far exceed the quotidian.
I see that not much occurs on 25th December, so I have settled on that. You may send me cards and gifts at the usual address.
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