Reader participation opportunity

Beattie has been getting all medievally-opinionated on my ass.

Last night at the Club Derrig Symposium for Superior Gentlemen he took on his Rexy Harrison persona to suggest that my approach to the art of pouring a Guinnnnness was "worse than a woman".

Dear readers, feel free to let the lad have it with both barrels...right up the comments box.

Grubby

Mmmmm! Muffins!

For fans of eating stuff, this is simply the best Derrig-related feeding site in the whole of the world of food, (aside from the mash bits and the peas bits of course, but you can't have everything or your cake and eat it).

If you are a Derrig (no time-wasters) and want to be featured here, leave your webpage address in the comments. If you are not a Derrig, move along quietly but marvel at just what a special example we set across the planet from here to there.

Read all about it

Last night I was besieged in Club Derrig by a clusterful of laydees with only one thing on their minds.

There they were, like a goosey gaggle huddled in a corner talking really quite seriously. All very impressive, I must have to say for myself.

They were clearly engrossed with books - which on closer inspection turned out to be all the same book. Nice little earner for an author this Literacy Class thing.

I investigated further with one of their number, a Celtic bubbly blonde who approached the bar. With a sarcastic toss of her locks, she flourished the book at me, a hefty tome going by the name of "T' Roubles".

Now, foreign exchange is, it seems to me, a good thing. But I don't want any of it in the till of Club Derrig, thank you very much. I addressed them firmly on this matter then returned to my copy of Motor Sport, having giving them the all the very best of my opinions.

P-P-P-P.....

Okay readers - it's Friday afternoon: what's your favourite anti-superhero-related snack, ideal with a coffee?

Cat-O-Lick

Far too often, stupid animals seem unable to enter the world of spirituality and Poop worship. Or for that matter the other multitude of frankly farcical stuff we superior beings get our heads around in the name of 'goodiness'.

Not this cat, though, who was totally entranced by the sight of Glasgow, WITHOUT RAIN.

It's a miracle!

Perp Visit

Nice haircut.

I want to be amongst the initial group of the first to welcome His Massiveness The Poop to this great island of ours, hereunder our very feet.

I am, of course, already booked at the front of the queue to kiss his Holey ring. I'm hoping he'll want to return the honour.

At it like rabbits....

No, really - you do not want to know.

Shaggy dog story

It's not too often one (I) gets the chance to big-up man's best friend.

Man's best friend may have some fairly ferocious gnashers.

He may be smaller than us, and hairier.

He may well need to wear some dapper little body-warmers in the colder weather.

And he may even communicate in a gruff and unintelligible way that leaves us wondering what he is trying to say.

But none of this should put us off appreciating our old chum Braisers, le vielle mer-chien, for also being a real sport and giving a rescue dog the chance to get a bit of practice in.

Saluté, Braisers - plongeur et nageur extraordinaire!

That curious feeling

You've probably had that feeling of getting the willies up you.

I know I have...it's that eerieful sensation that makes you turn your head, thinking that perhaps there is something or someone observing you. Right creepy and a total disturbination.

Don't call me paranoiacal!

But that feeling is for merely mortal men and others. For me it can go a whole lot further than that.

It's a fear that - in the words of the great Germaniacal film director Fatbinder - eats the soul.

It is, of course, anatidaephobia of what I speak. Read all about it below...


Yes, my millions of readers, it's true - I have a phobia of being followed by anything with a bill.

(A tip o' the tricorn to Cap'n Jaaaaaaaaaahn.)

On your marks

There is a new fad abroad in the world of the dancing.

Using my own eyes behind my hands I did watch this performed unabandoned on a decently-sprung floor by a young laydee of enormously talented ableness.

I have re-created me own recreation of this event but using a chap for the avoidance of any issues about eroto-naughtiness and the like. And clothed, too.

Look on this as a lesson in smooth dancefloor movements, and maybe of interest to those of the 'snakehips' tendency, what like Beattie is.