A total disgrace

Totality of enshockment. It's the only word for it.

The Israeli police had to wade in and sort out some brawling and a-fighting monks in Jerusalem's Old City.

It was a re-flare-up in an ongoing Clanton-Earp-type feud between Greek Orthodox and Armenian monks at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre - in full robery and hats and all.

Now, back in the day, monks meant something.

They were toughened up old religious-minded thugs of the first order, God Bless 'em.

And - like those gents the Ronnie Kray trio - they never went against their own. It was the code, you see.

They thought nothing of fetching tiny boys a mighty one across the knuckles with a steel ruler merely for looking like they were thinking they could - given a right set of circumstances and a get out of jail free card - possibly consider the vaguest idea of a scintilla of sinning.

Now it seems these new-fangled monks have to rely on the busys to sort them out. And the busys of a state allied to a jumped-up johnny-come-lately sort of religion, to boot.

Surely it's not too late to get back to the days of proper Glasgow-gang-trained razored-up bike-chain-wielding Brothers? Pump 'em full of hard liquor, light the belt cord and retire! Watch those lads go! Tasmanian devils got nothing on them.

These half-hearted mealy-mouthed Mediterranean monks are no match for our ones.

Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough!

And as for them Sisters: simply vicious.

Spiny vicious nutjobs. No contest.

Blessed be the punch drunk.

Amen.