The Lady Jojojojojo smiles on sympathetically as the useless Spiv writhes.
No, of course I'm not.
I refer to news that has just reached me in my bare-skin, delivered by penguin post, of the Spiv Oestreicher having sustained an injury in his nether regions, resulting in a bad case of 'stroin grain'.
The report seeks to spread about widely and unto all, the pernicious rumour that he incurred said injury at the Lady Jojojojojo's instruction to make a better job of cutting the deadwood out of her tangled and dusty old undergrowth.
Despite his superhuman attempt to give her Ladyship satisfaction in the matter, it is reported she survived unscathed.
Meanwhile the Spiv is seeking to ameliorate the pain through heat treatment, sunning his overstretched and delicate parts in the newly-cleared garden.
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