Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Solo Patch


Dozy Gillespie celebrates his solo patch with The Onliest Monk.

The solo patch.

For a long-time the most derided of facial hair, appearing only on the fizzogs of jazzbos and beatyniks.

Not any longer. For I am in awe of the magnificent growth sported by the Genius Amanuensis.


There is no doubt that in covering up (an admittedly small) part of his face it can only contribute to a significant improvement.

But he has revealed it's not about appearance, or even trendism, or even coolth. Nor is it a declaration of his affection for the music known in my house as 'tooodly-parp-burpy-sans-melodia-jazz-a-ma-dross'.

No. It is that the laydeez what are loving it. Already he has been approached by women of all stripes just wanting to touch it. This hairy appurtenance is nothing more than a fondle-licence.

What is more, Tallulah describes it as fiendishly ticklish in the best possible way.

I embark today on my own growth!

Join me, men of Britain!

What you lose in dignity you will more than make up with the laying-on of laydee fingers!

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