Quandary corner

"Blondie(s)" - Hanging on the telephone

Following my successful and repeated pulling-off, I am very sorely in need of some relief - not to mention soothing unguents - down Stevenage way, if you get my drift.

So imagine my surprise when they send along two "blonde-my-eye" laydeez to take up the slack.

Obviously, unlike myself, they were far from peak condition and prone to frequent breaks from the mind-melting pressure of dealing with our paying customers. As can be seen above.

But, to get to my quandary, what am I to call this loyal and dedicated team of distaff delectables?

And I've already ruled out 'call girls', Beattie.

Your suggestions please to the Hell-o-oh Hotline on 0845 335 0845.