As a tribute to myself and the many skills I have deployed as Obergruppenfuhrer Button Boy in the past few days, I decided to celebrate with some well-earned boozing.
On the whole, I think it's fair to say the whole enterprise could easily have gone belly-up without my finger on the knob. There could have been anarchy - ANARCHY!!!! - on the floor or worse.
A lot of people ask me about how I manage to maintain an air of calm despite my flustered appearance and dishevelled state of dress.
Too many of them put it down to my having a reasonably efficient team of assistants. I say balderdash! It's me - and me alone - that pulls out the masterstrokes at the last knockings and saves the day. The rest of crew either rush to do my biddings or sit back in wonderment at my grasp of how to control the crazy and surreal events that befall us.
Still, it's back to Club Derrig for me to pick up the plaudits I know will be coming my way.
2 comments:
I'm led to understand that the 'microphone goes up, microphone goes down' button has now been entrusted to an outside contractor. And the timing of amber and green lights is automatic.
Is your button connected to and in control of anything? Or is it just there to keep you happy, while having no actual effect on the proceedings?
I think we should be told …
I imagine it must be a kinder world for those who live in blithe ignoramousness. Especially for those who pride themselves on managing to avoid actually entering the conference hall for nigh on 99% of the time for which they could have come in to see me in action.
Let me offer a few pointers which might let a glimmer of the light of knowledge into the darkness of Wozzaworld.
1. It's not just the microphone that rises and falls - the whole rostrum does so. The purpose of this is to allow those of different statures to address the multitudes on an equal footing. Let us take - for sake of argument - someone of modest height. It would be unsettling to their dignity to be concelaed behind a rostrum set at an elevation which concealed their presence. And just who do you think guesstimates the height of speakers as they approach the rostrum to ensure it is adjusted to an appropriate height and communicates that all important information to the rostrum-up-and-down-controller-leiutenant? Hmm?
2. On the lights - your lack of lnowledge is betrayed by the anbsence of mention of the red light. In your crazy topsy-turvy world the speaker's "final minute" would continue for eternity! Hardly conducive to the progress of important business. That's not to mention that there are different speaker's times for movers, and supporting speakers. Again, you fail to comprehend the awesome tasks in which I am engaged.
3. On the question of 'my button', I refuse to enter into discussion on what is a personal matter. If you are referring to my mastery of knob-control, then you should re-phrase your enquiry and I may deign to reply.
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