Spectacular!

For purposes of clarity I am trying to identify a suitable pair of looney-ettes.

I should say here and nowtofore that I do not NEED such nasal-perching accoutrements for any visual incompetency. I have perfect 20 (Twenty) - 20 (Twenty) eyesighting and can see a laydee wearing a paternity suit coming at me a mile off.

No, the glassy-oracular knick-knacks are simply an accessory which make me look slightly less distinguished than I am. I was finding that a number of people seemed to be intimidated by my grand self and were holding back from offering to buy me a drink.

Obviously this simply cannot be allowed to go on.