Star split shocker

Fame forced incognitoity on the pair.

I have been following the troubles embracing the amorous pair of Maddo and Rich Guy.

Can I say now that I was right all along as usual as I predicted this on learning of their marriage all those years ago.

"It won't last till Christmas", are the very words I used.

And it hasn't. Still more than two months to go till the festive season and they split like an over-ripe puffin.

I blame, of course, very dirty dancing. All that rubbing of legs and tight outfits.

Having said that, now Maddo and Rich are no longer an item, and I - being a single man with a strong interest in dragging myself by fair means or foul out of the ongoing credit crunchie - I would like to put myself forward.

Yes, readers, you read it a-right: I am tendering myself - body and brain -out on a strictly cash-for-Col basis.

I have the looks, the skills, and the years of experience needed to cope with the likely demands that will be made upon me.

I am experienced in fantasy and role play, many laydeez having told me I make a very good "heavy".

My body has been honed to adapt to long periods of sitting around waiting with short bursts of intensive activity between.

I don't mind doing the same thing over and over again until it's finished, just to get it perfect for a demanding sort.

So yes, Rich Guy, send me a script - I'm gagging for a part in your next film!