Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Urgent Warning!

I am on the inside track about this, so pay attention!

A deep cover mole in the Metereoeorological Office tells me he's getting rumblings on his equipment. Apparently this is predictive of an whole volcano in Iceland (Brrrr!) going to blow it's top any day now, throwing the world into chaos as a giant ash cloud covers huge swathes of Northern Europe and makes it impossible for anyone to get a decent tan.

Now I'm not one to spread alarm unnecessarily, but I would strongly advise all my readers to stock up well on the Pot Noodles (at least two flavours - there's no telling how long this horror of the greatest magnitude ever faced by mankind might go on for, if indeed, it will ever end), Ginster's buffet bars, and Mangers.

Batten down the hatches - it's going to be a bumpy ride!

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