Thursday, 11 March 2010

Chere Carla

"Absolutely puffing devastated"

I am getting in touch only to offer my deepest and warmest sympathies for all that malarkey and you giving that Shortarse Sarko the boot and all and more, wasn't it?

I know how much you must be a-hurting all over about dumping that little French chap and all that damn misery-making he's put you through with that posse of lovely economic policies. It's shocking and not at all envy-making.

Anyway, I would like you to know that I am currently a single man, more than capable of showing affection and physical stuff and that old rubbish, and would dearly love to stitch another name on my love-blanket - that is if you think you're ready to plunge back into the maelstrom that is getting loved hard and briefly by a chap.

I've always liked the Italian accent, I am a big fan of the name Carla - especially as a spy-type mistress name - and am an admirer of hirsuteness amongst you women lot. I must, though, draw the line at your guitarring and singing.

Get them out the way and we're in business. Unless Cheryl gets back to me first.

No chance of a threesome, I’m guessing? Just to record an album, of course.

RSVP 12th March.

Yours,

Big Bad Col

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