I am in the fortunate position of being privy to the upper and dankly-cavernous echelons of the Catholic "Church"TM and am delighted to reveal some news of earth-moving proportionality.
In a stunning u-roundabout-turn-up Papa Topogigio XIVIIIIVIIIVXMI has flown in secretly to start blessing the populace well before they even knew about it or wanted it.
Dressed in penitent's robes and an old jumper, Il Duce has been wandering the streets of the UK in a cognito, leaping out of shop doorways and spilling his sacraments on passers-by before they even knew he had come upon them.
"I've made fourteen conversions this morning," he said, "Ars Gloria Artis."
Meanwhile, local Police are reportedly looking for a man with a napkin on his head.
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