At the top of my game

I've been inundated with a query asking for more details about what I do at the conference.

My queree simply could not believe that I was, as she put it, "a rather over-paid usher".

I think it may not have been clear from my previous posting that I have an extremely responsible role.

First off, it's not just about making sure someone is sitting comfortably. I have to ascertain whether they are delivering a sparkling oration for or against a particular proposal. Or they may wish to make a cutting intervention by means of a procedural motion. Or they may have the chance of coming back at the end of the debate to deliver the coup de grace and demolish the carefully-constructed edifice of their opponents' arguments. Although this dignifies the actual contributions of the "brothers and sisters" rather too highly.

But I often need to deploy my skills in detailed negotiation with, and interpretation of, people who really have no idea what they are actually doing there.

Second, escorting people to the appropriate chair for their contribution is nothing short of a balletic performance. In particular I have to glide around, sweep past, and manoeuvre the all-too-often discipline-resistant strain of the multitude into the correct chairs for them to be called forth by the Grand Arbiter to unburden themselves.

Thirdly, I have to maintain an air of calm, authority and presence in the face of all this.

"A rather over-paid usher?" Hell-o-oh!?!

And for those needing further evidence, here's Derrig inaction.