A chance encounter

I left the UK to get away from this sort of thing.

However, here - deep in the brush - I stumbled across Jenkins The Old Contemptible. Usually to be sighted leading the 3rd Pensioners Brigade, he was on a lone mission scouting out a new location for his faltering international antiquities import scam.

I have to say he looked somewhat out of place in his George at Asda jungle greens, but soon seemed at home after I had bought him a laager or two.

"Where's Argy?" he enquired.

I spun round, confused, quickly realising that I had seen neither hair nor hide of the wretched bargee for the best part of a week.

"Cheers," I replied and bought us another brace of drinks.

Jenkins and I then toured the great battlefields featured in the film Zulu and similar. We dressed modestly in safari suits, pith helmets, and puttees and carried only carbines for our protection.

On our grand tour we re-enacted many of the scenes and sayings of the time, captured so eloquently in the blockbuster "Zulu":

"You have made a covenant with death, and with hell you are in agreement! Death awaits you all! You're all going to DIE!."

And:

"The Army doesn't like more than one disaster in a day"


And:

"C-can I... undo me, me tunic now? "

And who could forget:

"I have work for baritones, too."

But, overall, I'd have to say not much Kop.