S.A.Fari Part Four

After trekking for numerous days in the wilderness and mountains with my feet and all I was delighted to hear the sound of a babbling brook.

I prayed it was not some insane-in-the-brain mentalist hallucination, and made my way with some trepidation towards the sound.

Imagine my surprise to come upon a German man without a stitch on, calmly stroking himself up and down the length of a beautiful waterhole.

And he was not alone! Just out of frame of the picture I snapped - from the safety of my secret station behind a coolibah tree - was a woman I took to be his wife! Also German. But, mercifully, in a swimsuit.

Unfortunately, I dropped my camera, the sudden noise alerting them to my presence.

"Guten Tag" they shouted at me, waving. "Kommen Sie innen."

I waved back, using my free hand to cover my eyes, and shouted "English! English! No naked stuff!" I then turned smartly on my heels and left, marching off back into the scrub.

I wandered for another few miles, stunned by the display of their continental freedoms, before finding I could hear water again. This time I could not hold back and bounded towards the sound, tearing my boots and socks awkwardly from my feet, desperate to first soothe my toes, then slake my thirst.

I hit the waterhole at a fair old clip, removing my shirt as I did so, leaving myself garbed in shorts and vest, and commenced splashing the water liberally about myself. I carried on until I was soaked and blissful.

It was then I found myself being watched from a matter of yards by the swimming German and his Damen! I had walked round in a complete circle!

"Ach!, Heidi" declared the naked Deutschlander. "Welcome the Englisher spy pervert! Invite him to join our merry band of nacktness."

For the second time that day I was forced to make my excuses and leave.

And that was the statement I made to the authorities about the whole unfortunate incident.