Thursday 3 April 2008

Breakfast element equivalence conundrum



An entrepreneur writes:

Dear Uncle Colin,

I have a great idea for providing breakfasts for drivers at road-side cafes. Don't laugh - it's an idea whose time has come. I seriously think it has potential to be a real moneyspinner.

The only flaw in my plan is quite how the elements of a breakfast relate to one another commensurateness-wise. For example - the mighty fried egg. A lovely way to get your protein slathered in grease, but not everyone's cup of tea. If a punter should ask for the set breakfast (sausage, fried egg, beans, fried bread, black pudding, chips, tomato, toast and tea or coffee) but request no fried egg, preferring a replacement, commensurate element, just what should the replacement element be?

Your soon-to-be-wealthy admirer
Ricky Dicky


Uncle Colin advises such and thuslike:

An important issue, as I have learned to my cost in many of the fine restaurants I have frequented down the years. You would think it is simply a matter of the cost of the element, but there are other factors to take into account: overall nutritional balance of the meal; the weight of the item; the aesthetics of how the elements meld together to create the breakfast.

I've given it a great deal of thought and believe it comes down to the following simple table.

1 fried egg = 1 sausage and a portion of black pudding
1 tomato = 80 beans
6 chips = 1 slice fried bread

Follow this golden rule and you'll be rolling in the moolah in a matter of months.

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