Countdown confusion

A number of people have written to me asking for clarification of the mathematical precision of the countdown, the purpose, and the what the hell the thing is it is all leading up (or probably more accurately) down to of.

First of all let me explainify about the way I'm counting down.

When it was ten days to go it was 10 (ten) days to go.

(For Yorkshire fowk, replace 'was' with 'were'.)

When it was nine days to go it was 9 (nine) days to go.

When it was eight days to go it was 8 (eight) days to go.

When it was seven days to go it was 7 (seven) days to go.

When it was six days to go it was 6 (six) days to go.

When it was five days to go it was 5 (five) days to go.

When it was four days to go it was 4 (four) days to go.

Later today it will be three days to go so it will be 3 (three) days to go.

Tomorrow it will by two days to go so it will be (two) days to go.

On Saturday it will be one day to go so it will be 1 (one) day to go.

I hope that clarifies it for the more soft-brained folks out there. I'm sorry for any confusional quandarification that anyone has felt over this and in future I will try to simplify things further. I know it looks mighty complicated, but follow the formula above, and you can't fail.

Now, as to the purpose, a countdown is used - in this context - to generate a gradual sense of tension, excitement, and mystery. From my observations of the hubbub at the watercoolers it is clearly working.

Finally, what it is all leading up to? An event so momentous that you will be quite literally stunned beyond belief.*

Now, get back to work.

*Terms not subject to Trade Descriptions Act. No guarantee or obligation inferred.