Monday 12 January 2009

Smartarse Update

New Smartarse Barry Simpo

Of course, the question that has been on everyone's lips is "What's happened about Col going up against Smartarses with his team of science experts?"

I am now at liberty to reveal that the celebrity (?) espidodes were considered to be a televisual failure of such onanic proportions that I have been again approached to fill their slot.

Having taken soundings with my PR people and other trusted advisers, I have decided to take up the bejewelled bucket of opportunity and go right in and blast them away to bits of smithereens in a quiz-like stylee.

I have conveyed the information that I will be available on the 30th January - this year - and they had better send a decent luxury car with driver to collect me.

I've put a crate of Mangers, a leather harness, and the Cheeky Girls on my rider.

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