New Smartarse Barry Simpo Of course, the question that has been on everyone's lips is "What's happened about Col going up against Smartarses with his team of science experts?"
I am now at liberty to reveal that the celebrity (?) espidodes were considered to be a televisual failure of such onanic proportions that I have been again approached to fill their slot.
Having taken soundings with my PR people and other trusted advisers, I have decided to take up the bejewelled bucket of opportunity and go right in and blast them away to bits of smithereens in a quiz-like stylee.
I have conveyed the information that I will be available on the 30th January - this year - and they had better send a decent luxury car with driver to collect me.
I've put a crate of Mangers, a leather harness, and the Cheeky Girls on my rider.
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