I'm A Knock-Out!

A lot of people see this excellent television programme as the point at which the Royal Family itself jumped the shark.

I see it as possibly THE high point in the British televisual experience (notwithstanding the programme in which Rebecca Loos assisted in a porcine ejaculation).

The show featured members of the British Royal Family alongside sporting and showbiz celebrities including Lady Jane Seymour, John Travolting, Meaty Loaf, George Lazy, John Cheese, Jenny 'Stopped a train with her knickers?' Gutter, and so on and so forth, and ever more shall be so.

It was conceived and organised by the very high Prince Edward who wanted to get into TV after an illustrious career entertaining the Royal Marines, and he featured prominently alongside Princess Anne, and the Duke and Duchess of York as team captains, each of whom supported a different charity.

The show was hosted by Stuart Hall, Les Dawson and Su Pollard.

The contestants competed in vastly entertaining games. In one round they dressed up as giant vegetables and threw fake hams at each other.

Immediately after the event, Prince Edward asked the assembled journalists "Well, what did you think?" Somewhat taken aback by such a direct question, the craven yellow-bellied dogs responded with a nervous laughter. The Prince quite rightly withdrew, bitterly thanking the journos for their lack of enthusiasm.

I am told by a Palace insider that The Queen had not approved of the event and that her courtiers had advised against it. Neither she, the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Charles nor Princess Diana agreed to take part but for whatever reason, Edward persevered and the project went to completion.

But to this day I have never seen this televisual feast.

Why?

Well, for a start it's never been repeated.

And when it was broadcast I was forced to miss it because I was making an effort for a young woman called Shirley.

But I learned my lesson alright.

Never again.