A Twin of Evil writes:
Our Uncle, recently arrived from Saltzburg, seems to be paying a lot of very special attention to my twin sister and I. We suspect that he has been watching us covertly as we go about our daily business and only yesterday I noticed him drooling when we returned from a vigorous ride and I took off my scarf upon entering the house. We do not have much contact with society and don’t know whether we are right to be concerned or whether these are the normal attentions of a male in the prime of life. Please help!
Uncle Colin advises thus and suchlike:
In my time I have uncled-up to many a young laydee and it seems that such behaviour goes with the territory. If you wish to dissuade him from his dribbling, and feverish oglingery, I would make the following practical suggestions:
1. Prevention is better than cure - remove the source of temptation: always lock the door when going about your daily business;
2. Use concealing anti-perspirants and deodorants to obscure the most obvious of your womanly charms;
3. Remember, an uncle's drives are unpredictable and may need a variety of attentions to still his inflammations. Treat him kindly, as you would your favourite steed.
Do write again with more details and/or pictures.
Yours comfortingly
Uncle Colin, the agoniser's friend
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