If it wasn't bad enough having to try and control the rabble down at Parliament, look at the bunch of no-hopers they gave me to work with! Barely a full set of teeth between the lot of them and not one of them capable of understanding the simplest instructions.
For the less recalcitrant 'lobbier' I can get away with use of my paddle. Looks like cardboard, feels like cold steel when applied to the back of the neck.
Occasionally you get some oik from the West Midlands who needs a little more "persuasion". For this more "diplomatic" end of my work I always have to hand my trusty can of Deep Heat. Does the same job as MACE and can be purchased over the counter without suspicion. An eye-ful of that and who's laughing then, eh?
I must say, though, that after all this overwhelming excitement I'm looking forward to an evening's hard dogging.
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