A giant among men

It goes without saying that I am always at the eye of the storm (and usually a storm of my own making); that I am the virile glow that draws close my acolytes like moths and other night-insects; that I am the music to which my inferiors dance their clumsy jigs; that I am Derrig.

And as a Derrig, I'm not really one to doff my cap to anyone.

And yet, every once in a while - a very long while - a colossus bestrides the earth and I am reluctantly forced to accept that there is a man possessed of greater standing, abilities, achievements, obsessions, looks, and appetites than myself.

Fortunately for my ego, our paths do not cross too often. My rival lives abroad and ventures this way less frequently these days, for which I am immensely grateful.

I am self-aware enough to know that, as a man with an ego the size of a planet, I seem but an asteroid compared to his truly stellar presence.

And no, I'm not talking the old Mozzarella here.

Dear readers, prepare your eyes...sunglasses are advisable...

Yes, it is none other than Brian "....Er...." Harries, gifted raconteur, bon viveur, and...eur...

I only ask that all my laydeez do not get over-excited by this new kid in town - there's only room for one ego in his many and much-talked-of relationships.

But I do know that he is renowned for his wide-range of mystical and loin-tenderising techniques when yodelling in the valleys of love.