Moneymaker!

I spent last night drinking with that lunatic Dickie Evans.

The lad is full of madcap schemes that won't work in a million years and spends most of his time expounding on these to anyone careless enough to allow him to catch their ear. Personally I have never heard so much nonsense spilling from one person's mouth.

His detailed expositions usually end with a crafty request for investment of hard cash, which, he explains carefully, can go down as well as up.

Well, as you might imagine, I was having none of it. I wished the foolish boy well and retired to my bed, my wallet safely unopened.

At about three in the morning I awoke with a start, my brain feverish with a cunning scheme of my own devizing. I often find I am inspired by a copious intake of alcohol, but on this occasion I surpassed even my usual brilliance.

I had formulated quite fully in my sleep an ingenious way of making money from the card game "poker-card". I have but a slight grasp of its rules and concepts, but I am familiar enough with it to understand that gambling is a major component.

My plan is to raise money from "investors" whose money will go to players to use for "stake cash money". The return on the capital is determined by how well the player performs. All very simple so far, I'm sure you will agree.

Now pay attention, here comes the science: I bring the two parties together by use of the Wide World Virtual Web! I will advertise my service on poker-card game sites.

I make my money in paid-for advertising on my site and in a small commission on the stake cash money returns.

And my dream even revealed to me a brilliant name for my wizard scheme: Derrig's Original Shark Stakee.

If you would like to get in on the ground floor of this opportunity, please send me a cheque for your investment (minimum £1000). You won't regret it.

Sometimes I just don't know how I do it!