Fruity occurrence

Having rendevousiered with the absentee bargee at the adobe, we enjoyed an evening of rude camaraderie and rough talk.

Then we fell to arguing. As is usual, I'm afraid.

Exhausted from my exertions on the trick cycle and my journeyings, I was too fatigued to resist the dark intentions of Argy who, inflamed with alcohol and strange, unnatural desires, seized hold of my "blackberry". To my great alarm the unskilled bargee fingered it clumsily, but in great awe.

If I had had an ounce of my usual strength I would have repulsed this indignity, but alas I was puttee in the bargee's hands. In a matter of moments I was drained of any remaining vestiges of my usual vim and vigour.

The outcoming of all this assaultery was the issue of many unintelligible emails and texts at ungodly hours to a variety of my readers in what appeared to be my name, but was in fact the untutored and unmannered Argy.

A wise type once said that an infinite number of monkeys (which is a delight in itself, obviously) with an infinite number of typewriters would see one of the hairy chaps produce the complete works of one or another famous authors.

Thank heavens there was only one bargee and one "blackberry", as I shudder to think what Argy would have done with two!