SA

I am over my vapours, and we have safely docked. Nothing more can impede the progress of my expedition, now that I am off that cursed boat.

On disembarkation I was delighted to be greeted with a choral rendition of N'Cosi Fan Tutti, the Southern Africa singing anthem. I am always gratified to be recognised and have tribute paid appropriately.

However, of Argy the bargee, there was not a sign.

Eventually I was directed to a wall and found...

A small note was attached to where the saddle should have been. It read 'Carved by my own hands, Argy'.

On the back of the note were lengthy directions to a meeting spot where we could make an adobe our abode for the night before seeking out the entertainment delights of Rorke's Drifters - a local tribute band of great renown.

I set off at once, with only my natural rear padding as defence from the gnarly tree-cycle as I have come to term it.

Aloha!