Friday, 9 November 2007

Pants on fire


It comes to a pretty pass when I am forced onto the record to rebut some scandalous rumours being put about by Mr. Ben Thomas (seen above testing a mic for me at one of my speaking engagements).
My would-be-civil-partner-for-pension-benefit-purposes (or WBCPFPBP for short, and pronounced "Corpse-robber") is nothing but a perpetrator of terminological inexactitudes.

That man knows no bounds of taste or decency and will stop at nothing to besmirch my good name and make me seem a laughing stock among my peers.

I think its time to put a stop to his interminable gossip-mongering and let the trusty sword of truth and justice cut through his mischievous blathering.

1. I CAN swim.

2. I CAN ride a bike.

3. I DO eat crisps.

Let no man doubt me on these matters again!

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